I may never beat Rise of the Triad, Interceptor Entertainment's new reboot of 3D Realms/Apogee’s classic 1994 shooter.
On the other hand, I don’t think it really matters.
For the last two hours I've been fruitlessly tossing rockets, missiles, and all other sorts of explosive objects at a twelve-foot-tall robot named NME, only to have him mercilessly murder me at the last minute. I feverishly jump back into it again, knowing I'll most likely die at the exact same point.
The game seems to look at the way I’ve let my circle-strafing skills atrophy over the last decade and sneer. I'm not being dramatic—it actually mocks me. “Stick to a gamepad,” the voiceover taunts and I hang my head, all too aware of how piercing and knowing the insult is.
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